uldn't it be nice to know how to tell if someone is lying? We're going to see what the research has to say on detecting lies, avoiding deception and more. And this is the industrial strength package. We'll look at how to avoid being deceived by the pros in this arena: con artists. To get the real answers, I called an expert. Maria Konnikova is a contributing writer at The New Yorker. Her wonderful new book is The Confidence Game. Maria has insights from research on how…
m pretty sure I just heard a gunshot. And that means she's dead. Hold on, I guess I better back up and explain... A 911 call came in. A domestic dispute turned into a hostage situation. The perpetrator has a gun on his wife and child. ESU (Emergency Services Unit, basically, the SWAT team) arrived, as did 4 NYPD hostage negotiators. And me. We stacked up outside the door to the apartment. But things were not going well. Shouting between the husband and wife was…
w do you deal with out of control kids? The authors of the bestseller How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk have some great ideas that can help any parent. It's really powerful, impressive advice. But here's the odd thing: reading the book, I could have swore I had seen similar ideas before. And I had... When I was interviewing and researching FBI hostage negotiators. No, your 9-year-old Jimmy probably isn't committing serious acts of violence (except maybe against…
metimes your closest and most important relationships are also the most difficult. Why? Columbia business school professor Adam Galinsky and Wharton professor Maurice Schweitzer have an answer: All your relationships are both cooperative and competitive. We work together with the ones we love but we also have a bit of rivalry going on at times. It's natural, but difficult. That competitiveness can be why friends and loved ones can have such a positive and motivating influence on us. But it can also…
es it ever feel like people are all self-absorbed jerks? Like they're not listening? Only in it for themselves? You're not crazy. Empathy is declining. Via Empathy: Why It Matters, and How to Get It: A recent study at the University of Michigan revealed a dramatic decline in empathy levels among young Americans between 1980 and today, with the steepest drop being in the last ten years. The shift, say researchers, is in part due to more people living alone…
would all like to know how to be loved by everyone. In the end, who are our favorite people? Those who understand us and listen. Someone we can turn to and honestly say, "You get me." That really comes down to one skill: listening. And it's something most of us are awful at. In an age of sub-zero attention spans, focus is a superpower. And focusing on others is even more rare. When I asked the #1 love researcher, John Gottman, what the best thing…
all deal with fear of rejection. Jia Jiang did too. But he overcame it... thanks to a box of donuts. He explains how this happened in his wonderful book, Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection. His dream was to be an entrepreneur -- and that means a lot of rejection. So how could he beat the fear? By turning it into a game. For 100 days he made ridiculous requests of strangers, expecting to get rejected.…
fe can be really difficult sometimes. We all deal with it. But how do top performers overcome challenges? And what can we learn from them? I figured I'd call an expert. Who knows about overcoming adversity? Special Forces. So I called Mike Kenny. Mike's a Special Forces Lieutenant Colonel with 22 years of service under his belt. For most of his career he was an 18 Alpha (Special Forces Officer) and is currently the Special Operations Forces liaison to the School of Advanced Military Studies. Most…
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