This Is How To Have Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: 4 Secrets
mie was one of the nicest and warmest people I’d ever met. He was also one of the most dangerous people I’d ever met. Jamie was two-time national champion in Kali. Kali is the martial art they taught Matt Damon for the Jason Bourne movies. And at this point Jamie was training for the world championships. Day in, day out, nothing else. The last thing you wanna do in a fight is think. You train until every technique is an…
11 minutes
New Neuroscience Reveals 5 Rituals That Will Make Your Life Awesome
e fact that they fell in love was, on the surface, ridiculous. She was a leading researcher on love. He was the leading researcher on loneliness. And yet it happened. Ironic? Poetic? Probably both. Steph was at a boring academic lecture. The guy next to her whispered in her ear: “If I start snoring, punch me.” She giggled. The man seated to her other side was already dozing. Steph whispered back: “He’s snoring. Do you want me to punch him,…
12 minutes
This Is How To Get People To Change: 5 Secrets From Research
ying to help someone change can be sanity-straining. Even when people face serious health scares they often don’t do enough to alter their habits, like they’re stuck on some monorail track of doom. That said, we often go about trying to help in all the wrong ways. We know that lectures probably don’t help -- but we often find ourselves doing it anyway. It’s like the reasons we give them for changing have almost no effect at all… And, actually,…
11 minutes
The Lazy Way To An Awesome Life
e old maxim says that with others you should just “be yourself.” But is that really true? In researching my new book, Plays Well With Others, I went down the rabbit hole to see whether it’s accurate -- and also what we can do to be our best selves. (Never be ashamed of who you are... that's your parents' job.) In the excerpt below we’re going to learn a dead simple way to become more of the person you want to…
11 minutes
This Is The Most Fun Way To Make Your Life Awesome
en you’re young, you gossip about the couples that are having sex. When you’re older, you gossip about the ones that aren’t. Keeping love alive isn’t easy. And when I was researching my new book Plays Well With Others, well, I learned a lot of very harsh truths about the current state of marriage. While I had no desire to write a “Romantic Necronomicon” that would drive readers mad (or just make them mad at me) I do cover a…
8 minutes
This Is How To Win With A Narcissist: 3 Secrets From Research
u know the type. Needlessly cruel and they think they’re better than everyone else. Always one-upping people. If you've been to Timbuktu, they've been to Timbukthree. Some of them almost reach “Talented Mr. Ripley” proportions and exhibit such bad behavior it makes your eyes go wide like a silent movie actor. Calling them a “friend” requires substantial creativity but – sadly -- they’re a part of your life. (No, you can’t kill them with your mind. It doesn’t work. I’ve…
7 minutes
This Is How To Make Emotionally Intelligent Friendships: 2 Secrets From Research
le Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends And Influence People” was wrong. Well, at least one of his principles was. But we’ll get to that in a second… Like you, I spent the pandemic not seeing friends nearly as often – but I was actually writing about friendship at the time. Oh, irony. The second section of my new book Plays Well With Others gives the Mythbusters treatment to the old maxim “Is a friend in need a friend indeed?” Post-pandemic, I…
9 minutes
New Neuroscience Reveals 2 Secrets That Will Make You Emotionally Intelligent
big part of being emotionally intelligent is understanding what's going on in the minds of others. But doing that is really difficult. (So difficult I’ve been worried I broke my mirror neurons – and that’s why I’ve had 7 years of bad luck.) We’re not mind readers. But given the pandemic and its negative impact on our social lives, we need the facts more than ever. So I went all Hardy Boys on this one and dug for the…
8 minutes
