5 Expert Ways To Deal With Difficult People — And Make Them Love You
ve posted a great deal on working with difficult people and how to make people like you. What new research and expert advice can we use to better deal with difficult people? The Feedback Sandwich Doesn't Work -- This Does Nobody likes delivering bad news. Stanford's Jeffrey Pfeffer recommends having someone else do it whenever possible. But what about when it's unavoidable? Don't do the old "feedback sandwich" of positive comment, negative comment, positive comment. Research shows it's better to be…
5 minutes
The Surprising Science Behind Earthshakingly Wonderful Friendships
bsp; Not Having Enough Friends Can Kill You Carlin Flora: Julianne Holt-Lunstad did a meta-analysis of social support and health outcomes and found that not having enough friends or having a weak social circle is the same risk factor as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. We've had such great public health campaigns against smoking in the last 20-odd years, and now we're finally learning that having a good and satisfying social life is just as important, if not more important,…
3 minutes
Where To Find Love — Or Lust
en readers email me about the research behind relationships and sex the most common question is always the same: Where? Where should they meet that special someone? Bars? Online? Through friends? Book clubs? Terrorist cells? Religious cults...? What works? Yes, science has info. But the answers depend on what you're looking for. Looking For Love Want to settle down? Ask a family member if they know anyone. People meet all kinds of partners through friends. But you're far more likely to…
6 minutes
Science Of Karma: 3 Steps To Making It Work For You
you believe in karma? Research shows that most of us do, whether we admit it or not. When we want something and we're unsure whether we'll get it, we become more helpful: We suggest that when wanting and uncertainty are high and personal control is lacking, people may be more likely to help others, as if they can encourage fate’s favor by doing good deeds proactively. Four experiments support this karmic-investment hypothesis. You feel that if you do something…
6 minutes
Science Of Sexy: 5 Things That Can Make You Irresistible
mor Is Sexy Humor is attractive to men and women -- but not in the same way. The research shows women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who laugh at their jokes. Via Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love: Recent research suggests that while both men and women say they like a "good sense of humor" in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women…
6 minutes
Good Parenting Skills: 7 Research-Backed Ways to Raise Kids Right
ve posted about the research behind happy families and solid marriages, but what does science say about good parenting skills? Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman do an excellent job of rounding up the latest research in their book, NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children. Here are my highlights: 1) Praise Kids For Effort, Not Smarts Praise kids for something they can easily control -- the amount of effort they put in. This teaches them to persist and that improvement is possible.…
7 minutes
How To Make Friends Easily And Strengthen The Friendships You Have
iendship is a good thing. That's hardly front-page news -- but somehow we all forget how important it is. We take friends for granted. As we raise families we neglect friends. We don't put in the effort to make and keep friends. And the problem is growing. In 1985 most people said they had 3 close friends. In 2004 the most common number was zero. Via Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect: In a survey given in 1985, people…
8 minutes
Recipe For A Happy Marriage: The 7 Scientific Secrets
w York Times writer Tara Parker-Pope pulled together the science behind nuptial bliss in her book For Better. Here's the seven point recipe for a happy marriage that she spells out: 1) Celebrate Good News Turns out divorce isn't as much about increased negative things as it is about decreased positive things. Via For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed: “We’ve found that the positives are more and more important,” says Howard Markman,…
5 minutes
