How To Be Loved By Everyone: 6 Powerful Secrets
would all like to know how to be loved by everyone. In the end, who are our favorite people? Those who understand us and listen. Someone we can turn to and honestly say, "You get me." That really comes down to one skill: listening. And it's something most of us are awful at. In an age of sub-zero attention spans, focus is a superpower. And focusing on others is even more rare. When I asked the #1 love researcher, John Gottman, what the best thing…
7 minutes
Rules For A Happy Marriage: 4 Secrets From An Expert
ing married in the modern world can be difficult and confusing. What are the rules for a happy marriage? It doesn't seem like there are any easy answers. So I called an expert. Stephanie Coontz serves as Co-Chair and Director of Public Education at the Council on Contemporary Families and teaches at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA. She's the author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage and The Way We Never Were: American Families And The Nostalgia Trap. We hear a lot from…
9 minutes
The 4 Most Common Relationship Problems — And How To Fix Them
lationship problems. Everybody has them. And sometimes you have them over and over and over. Most of the people giving advice don't know the research. So where are the real answers? I decided to call an expert: Dr. John Gottman. You might remember him as the researcher in Malcolm Gladwell's Blink who, after just a few minutes, could predict whether a couple would end up divorced. John is a professor emeritus at the University of Washington and co-founder of the Gottman Institute. He's published…
8 minutes
How To Have A Great Relationship – 5 New Secrets From Research
at is love? (Sit down. This might take a minute.) I've posted a lot about the science around love, including how to tell if your spouse is cheating and why high heels are sexy. But what about the stuff we need to know to be happy? Platitudes don't cut it and though the poets are often right they're frequently vague. Is there an expert who can give us some real answers about love: how to find it, nurture it and maybe even repair it? You better…
9 minutes
The Science Of “Happily Ever After”: 3 Things That Keep Love Alive
Daniel Jones, author of Love Illuminated, explains: we spend youth asking "How do I find love?" and midlife asking "How do I get it back?" Anyone in a relationship or who plans on being in one needs to know how to keep love alive over the long term. But how do you learn the secret to this? Everyone is happy to explain "how they met" but few give the details on "how they stayed together." So let's look at what…
6 minutes
Seduction, Power and Mastery: 3 Lessons From History’s Greatest Minds
at can we learn about human nature and the way the world works from reading history? This has been the territory of Robert Greene. He is the New York Times bestselling author of 48 Laws Of Power, The Art of Seduction, and Mastery, among other books. Combining the lessons of thousands of years, what do you learn about the fundamental subjects of seduction, power and mastery? I called Robert to find out. Seduction What's at the root of seduction? Surprise. Robert…
6 minutes
How To Have A Great Relationship: 5 Words You Need To Remember
ve posted a lot about the research behind what makes relationships work -- and not work. How can you remember what all these studies have to say? Just keep the 5 R's in mind: Right Real Rapport Relate Review Let's break them down. Fight Right You might think it would be great if you could have a relationship with zero arguing. But marriages with no arguments are 35% more likely to divorce. Via 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships: Married…
6 minutes
Recipe For A Happy Marriage: The 7 Scientific Secrets
w York Times writer Tara Parker-Pope pulled together the science behind nuptial bliss in her book For Better. Here's the seven point recipe for a happy marriage that she spells out: 1) Celebrate Good News Turns out divorce isn't as much about increased negative things as it is about decreased positive things. Via For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed: “We’ve found that the positives are more and more important,” says Howard Markman,…
5 minutes
