xiety is the modern age's favorite emotional sport. It's like carrying around a tiny, paranoid screenwriter in your head, constantly pitching you horror movie scenarios about your own life. Your brain is always preparing to fight a bear or run a marathon, except you're just trying to order a coffee. "Should I take this job? What if it leads to my ultimate undoing? Should I go on this date? What if they're a serial killer or, worse, someone who claps…
alth. You know, that elusive state of being where your insides are all sparkly. Unfortunately, these days every health tip should be met with the kind of skepticism usually reserved for UFO sightings. The suggestions we’re provided with range from “more alien than a David Bowie concept album” to "unintentionally hilarious." To get health tips online is to have your brain explode in a shower of absurdity, leaving you wondering if the human race is really the most intelligent species…
metimes life doesn't just hand you lemons -- it pelts you with them like you're in a citrus fruit dodgeball game. Yeah, we’re talking about when you have to deal with grief, like the death of a loved one or other serious tragedies. You're left with this bizarre, jagged-edged picture that sort of resembles your life, but not really. It's a process that’s as confusing as trying to read a book where every other page is from a different novel.…
ere’s no specific moment when you know you’re getting older. No ceremony where they hand you a cardigan and a book of crossword puzzles and say, "Welcome. You're one of us now. The Wi-Fi password is getoffmylawn." But the wrinkles and gray hairs start accumulating. Your brain's default setting has gone from "efficient" to "making that dial-up internet sound.” And you wake up with injuries from sleeping wrong. SLEEPING. You know, that passive activity where you're unconscious and immobile. It's…
times, inexplicably bad stuff happens to all of us. The kind of thing that makes you want to stand in front of the universe with a sign reading, "Really? This is what we're doing now?" And sometimes we call it “bad luck.” Oh, magical thinking, my favorite kind of thinking when I want to avoid responsibility and logic, which, if I'm honest, is most of the time. We all have a friend who believes every retrograde Mercury heralds personal…
ppiness. It's the one characteristic everyone goes on about like it's the golden ticket to the Wonka factory of life. And maintaining happiness, well, yeeeeesh. It's a relentless pursuit in a world that constantly shifts the goalposts. You're trying to maintain a sunny disposition in an era where the news cycle is less "informative briefing" and more "24/7 carnival of despair." The world might feel like your oyster, but unfortunately, you're allergic to shellfish. Everybody thinks they have answers. The…
e grand human fantasy: making money with the least amount of sweat. It's a dream as old as time, or at least as old as the invention of money and laziness, which I assume came about in the same brainstorming session. We're living in an age where people become millionaires by making videos about unboxing toys. But getting started on learning about personal finance can be both boring and confusing. Investing? Oh boy. Bulls, bears, shorts, longs – it sounds…
ust — humanity's favorite high-wire act. What’s the reason most people cite for wanting to leave their job? Not trusting their employer. And what quality do you value in a friend more than any other? You guessed it: trustworthiness. But a 2021 poll showed that 18 percent of American adults said they only have one or zero people they can trust for help in their personal lives. It’s a sad "I'll laugh about this in therapy" kind of statistic. Makes…
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