Alain de Botton wrote: “Writing a book is like telling a joke and having to wait two years to know whether or not it was funny.”
And my circus brain has spent much of the past few weeks thinking of the eleventy billion ways the book launch could go wrong and whether or not my future career entailed selling doilies on Etsy. Like some sort of digital Freudian slip, my phone has been autocorrecting “publishing” to “punishing”. (Often, the most difficult part of being a grown up is keeping your screaming on the inside.)
But then – finally — that all changed. I found out that…
Heavens to Murgatroyd! It was like an intramuscular injection of positivity. My brain started spinning so fast you could have connected my gray matter to a generator and powered much of Los Angeles.
I’ve written two bestsellers? I accomplished something impactful twice without anyone using the words “repeat offender”?
And so, right now, I have the opposite of writer’s block. The thing I need to type could not be more clear…
Those 8 consonants and vowels above cannot do justice to how I feel. Slap me if I get sentimental but while having a book become a bestseller is great, what impressed me the most was your kindness and support.
After a few years of pandemic malaise where we all became constitutionally unaccustomed to enthusiasm, gracious support at this level is about as familiar to me as organic chemistry. I feel all gooey and warm to a level where I want to make your birthday the password on my phone.
And to everyone who sent me nice messages with their preorders, I apologize for being unable to reply. Pre-order became dis-order. (I received over 1500 emails last Wednesday alone.) Respond to anywhere near that many emails in a day and Google will lock your account on suspicion you’re a spammer. (Wanna guess how I found that out? Yeah, the hard way.) So rather than responding to emails until the heat death of the universe, I just plowed through my Stage 4 carpal tunnel syndrome and focused on getting you your bonuses. (If you ordered before the deadline and did not receive your bonuses, do not summon an Eldritch demon to attack me. Just reply to this email with your proof of purchase.)
But I was not only overwhelmed by email — I was also overwhelmed by your support. A surprising number of you emailed me again and again and again for the bonus chapter. (You folks have a bright future in the collections industry.) But let me tell you, it is every writer’s dream to have people repeatedly contacting you saying, “I NEED TO READ YOUR WRITING!”
And it is an honor to write for you. It’s hard to believe I have been doing that on this blog for thirteen years. (People who used to savor my posts on dating and ignore my posts on parenting now savor my posts on parenting and ignore my posts on dating.)
I do hope this little website where I project my anxieties deliver insightful, heartfelt wisdom has made your life a little better. I can say for sure that you have made mine better.
Similarly, I hope my book helps you. I hope what I wrote strengthens your connections to those you love and gives you all the goody goodness that I am feeling and more. We need to support each other. There is a stranger out there who remembers you because you were nice to them when nobody else was.
If you already read the book, please leave a review. The five-stars keep me going when things get tough. The one-stars are no fun but it’s flattering to know my exes are still paying attention.
If you’ve already left a review, please spread the word. I hope it helps you connect with others. Seeing somebody reading a book you love is when a book recommends a person.
And if you haven’t got the book yet, please check it out. Me writing a relationship book is like hiring Godzilla to improve the infrastructure in your metropolis – but I sincerely believe the research I uncovered can help us all.
Normal blog posts will resume next week. But in the meantime, this post is so saturated with gratitude, it might bend the internet.
From the bottom of my heart — thank you,
Eric