Sonja Lyubomirsky Interview Extended

Three more powerful tidbits from my Sonja Lyubomirsky interview:

The Thing You Do That Kills Happiness

In her first book, Sonja said:

You can’t be envious and happy at the same time.

As Montesquieu once said:

If we only wanted to be happy it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are.

So what can we do about it?

Whenever you’re envious or in a bad mood, distract yourself with something fun. Here’s Sonja:

Positive emotions tend to neutralize negative emotions. So when you’re happy, it’s kind of an antidote to envy or to bitterness or anger or anxiety or sadness. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to always completely wash it out but it can at least somewhat neutralize it. When we’re experiencing sadness or grief or great anxiety about something, try and incorporate little intermissions of positive emotions. Go see a movie or distract yourself.

(To check out the original interview with Sonja click here.)

What Do The Happiest People In The World Know?

Sonja has studied them. She found a cluster of activities they engage in that you and I can learn from. Here’s Sonja:

The habit of gratitude, the habit of forgiveness, the habit of being kind or generous to others, the habit of really nurturing your relationships, your marriage, your friendships, or engaging in physical exercise… Meditation is something that has been shown to improve well being and mood as well. What else? Optimism, positive thinking, not comparing yourself to others, not overthinking, and not obsessing over your problems are key as well.

(For more about what makes the happiest people so happy, click here.)

The #1 Thing That Can Jump-Start Your Personal Happiness Journey

Bring a friend with you. Workout partners are great, so why not have a happiness partner too? Here’s Sonja:

We did a study where we showed that if you have a buddy that does this with you, you’re going to get even happier.

For more from Sonja, click here.

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