This Is How To Make Your Baby Smarter: 4 Secrets From Research

Being a new parent isn’t easy. Babies are essentially tiny, drunk roommates. They stumble around, they’re loud at all the wrong hours, they throw up on you without a hint of remorse, and they don’t pay rent. You’ll find yourself considering the merits of just squirting puree directly onto the floor just to cut out the middleman.

And this is all made more difficult by the fact that they can barely communicate. Babies come equipped with a range of sounds that are designed to trigger every parental instinct you didn’t know you had. There’s the “I’m mildly annoyed” grunt, the “I’m somewhat hungry” whimper, and the full-blown “I’ve been abandoned in the wilderness” scream. Who knew that something so small, something that can’t even figure out how to burp without assistance, could wield such power?

But just when you think you’ve reached the limits of your endurance, one gummy smile from your little bundle of joy can somehow make all the madness seem worth it. It’s love…

Okay, sometimes it’s more like Stockholm syndrome, but still – love.

So you want to be a good parent and raise a smart kid. The problem isn’t that there’s no advice; the problem is there’s too much of it. It’s everywhere. From the lady at the park, whose qualifications seem to be “having once seen a baby,” to your great-aunt’s neighbor’s housekeeper, everyone has an opinion on how you should be raising your child. It’s as if the moment you announce you’re expecting, you unwittingly sign up for a subscription to “Everyone’s an Expert,” a magazine that only publishes conflicting advice.

According to them, if your child isn’t bilingual by age two, playing the violin at three, and coding by four, you might as well resign yourself to a future of parent-teacher conferences where you’re gently told that maybe college “isn’t for everyone.”

At this point you just laugh because, let’s face it, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, and there’s already enough crying going on around here.

Well, someone has good answers. John Medina is a professor at the University of Washington School of Medicine and he’s reviewed all the research on brain development in children ages 0 to 5. His book is Brain Rules for Baby.

If you have a little one, are planning to have one, or want some help being the wisest of grandparents, this post is for you. Let’s get to it…

 

During Pregnancy

It all starts with a sperm, an egg, and probably a saucy Marvin Gaye song. And there’s a lot of really important developmental stuff going on before that child is born. So what do you need to be doing during the first half of pregnancy to make kid smart? You’re gonna love this answer…

Nothing special. During those first few months, your soon-to-be-child wants to be left alone. The kid just wants to grow some kidneys in peace. Whatever that new baby trend or popular gadget is for making babies smarter, you probably don’t need it. John says, “No commercial product has ever been shown to do anything to improve the brain performance of a developing fetus.”

That said, the fundamentals still matter. Eating a balanced diet with lots of fruits and vegetables is a great idea; alcohol and nicotine are not. The research shows food cravings are real – but they’re not indicative of baby needs. Only two supplements have solid data supporting their usefulness: the B-complex vitamin folic acid which prevents neural tube defects, and omega-3 fatty acids to improve neuron functioning.

The other fundamental is exercise. Being in shape means less pain during labor, a shorter labor, and fewer possible complications for the child during the “pushing phase.” The American College of Obstetricians recommends 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise per day. Obviously, dial it down appropriately as the due date approaches.

Okay, the baby is here. How do we craft them into a genius? Well, the first thing on the list has nothing to do with the child…

 

Work On Your Marriage

Congrats — your new idea of a “hot date” is successfully transferring the sleeping baby from your arms to the crib without triggering the motion sensor that apparently all babies come equipped with.

Having children stresses a marriage, especially early on. Marital quality peaks in the last trimester of pregnancy and then nosedives 40 to 90 percent in the baby’s first year.

You want to go into parenthood with a rock solid marriage and then work hard to maintain it when the new family member arrives. The poopocalypse is here. Cut each other some slack. This is wartime. You need an ally.

It’s not just for you, it’s also for your child. Marital instability affects kids even when they’re under six months. Some researchers claim to be able to accurately gauge the amount of fighting in a household by analyzing stress hormones in a baby’s urine. Sustained exposure to a hostile household has been shown to reduce a baby’s IQ and decrease their ability to handle stress. If this continues, it can lead to a whole host of mental health and behavioral issues from anxiety and depression to acting out. These children are less likely to finish high school and get lower grades if they do.

Here’s the good news: these issues are fully reversible early on. A study of infants under 8 months taken from homes in Traumaville and placed with families in Nurtureland see improvements in stress regulation in as a little as 10 weeks. So if you’re fighting when the baby is born, stop. You can still turn this around.

Take a deep breath and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Amidst the chaos, the sleep deprivation, and the endless cycle of feed, burp, change, repeat, you can find moments of absurd humor that somehow make it all worthwhile. Like when you both laugh until you cry at 3 AM because the baby farted with such gusto that you checked the crib for an adult-sized intruder.

Take a moment to feel gratitude. Gratitude for your partner, for your child and for your new ability to use your baby as an excuse to get out of social obligations.

So far we’ve mostly covered things to not do. But what do you need to proactively engage in to nab that bundle of joy a few extra IQ points?

 

Talking To Your Baby Makes Them Smarter

John says this is one of the most well-established findings in the developmental literature. Talking boosts baby IQ.

The gold standard? 2,100 words per hour. Might sound like the researchers expect you to be a tobacco auctioneer but, truth is, that’s only a moderate rate of conversation; the average person hears or sees about 100,000 words a day outside of work.

Variety of words and the complexity of sentences is almost as important as the number of words. And give positive feedback. Children with parents who spoke to them frequently, positively and intelligently ended up knowing twice as many words when they started school and scored higher across the board on verbal skills.

Does this mean you can’t use babytalk? I am pleased to say you absolutely should use babytalk. The experts call it “parentese” and it actually helps a baby learn. Parentese is slower and it exaggerates vowel sounds, both of which make it easier for a child to better distinguish all those new words. The melodic tone provides contrast and the high pitch allows them to better imitate you. (Their vocal tract is only 25% the size of yours so they can only produce high pitched sounds, something you realized last night at 3AM.)

When should you start talking to your baby? The experts aren’t sure but most of the data points toward “as soon as humanly possible.”

And now we need to discuss something very important for baby brains that new parents get very little of…

 

Sleep

Can we agree sleep is good for baby brains? Great. Then let’s just focus on the question every new parent wants the answer to: how do you actually get them to do it?

We get a lot of advice, most of it bunk. “Have you tried rocking them?” Good God, I’ve rocked this baby more than Aerosmith rocked the 90s.

Sadly, there isn’t as much research here as we’d like but there’s one solid tip that works: a consistent bedtime routine.

Choose a bedtime and stick to it. Then create some predictable bedtime rituals like dimming the lights or singing lullabies, anything consistent that sends the “Enough already, will you please go to sleep?!” signal without you having to scream, “Enough already, will you please go to sleep?!”

The other big question parents want to know: how do you prevent them from waking up when you’re trying to move them to the crib? It’s all about patience, my friend. The biggest mistake parents make is moving the kid before they’ve gone into deep sleep. Notice how long it usually takes them to settle in — and then add 10 minutes.

And then we have the endless war between the Cry-It-Out (CIO) folks and the proponents of Nighttime Attachment Parenting (NAP). You’ve got the former camp telling you to let the baby scream. “Builds character,” they say, as if your four-month-old is training for a future in bare-knuckle boxing. Then, there’s the attachment parenting squad, insisting you sleep with your baby until they’re old enough to vote. So who’s right?

We don’t know yet. CIO is definitely more effective in getting the child sleeping through the night sooner. And it works quickly – usually inside of a week, if applied consistently. Problem is we don’t know if that’s actually best for the baby. The NAP camp thinks CIO causes real psychological harm. Preliminary research seems to show that kids turn out fine with either system. CIO can definitely be hard on parents. For now, it’s an individual choice based on your parenting preferences.

Okay, we’ve covered a lot. Let’s round it all up – and get one more tip that will definitely help you maintain your sanity while trying to raise your little genius…

 

Sum Up

Here’s how to make your baby smarter:

• During Pregnancy: Everybody has advice. “Play the fetus Mozart!” And the supplements they recommend. You’re popping pills like a Hollywood starlet in the ’70s. But most of that is unnecessary. Stick to the basics: a balanced diet, folic acid, omega-3’s and exercise.
• Work On Your Marriage: If you thought navigating a marriage was like defusing a bomb, adding a baby is like deciding, “You know what this bomb needs? More wires. And let’s make them all the same color. And also, the bomb is now screaming.” So keep that relationship strong. It’s important for you and your baby’s brain.
• Talking To Your Baby Makes Them Smarter: It doesn’t need to be super fancy. You don’t need to articulate the socio-economic theories behind Sesame Street. (You’re talking to someone whose greatest achievement today was eating bananas without getting them in their eyebrows.) Talk to them a lot, expose them to a variety of words, and remember that babytalk is helpful.
• Sleep: Have a consistent bedtime with rituals to address your baby’s penchant for performing midnight operas. Make sure they hit deep sleep before moving them to the crib. And whether you let them cry-it-out is up to you.

Parenting can feel like a nonstop challenge. You spend your days saying things like, “We share our toys,” and “We don’t bite the cat.” And there’s the frustration of dealing with someone who lies about drawing on the walls when we all know there’s only one artist in the house with a penchant for abstract expressionism and a complete disregard for property value.

What’s a piece of advice that can keep you sane on the journey to making sure they don’t grow up to be the kind of people who talk in movie theaters?

Always remember that parenting is an amateur sport.

The previous generation raised their kids on a steady diet of lead paint and asbestos and the world did not end. You will make mistakes. Everyone does. It’s okay.

And for all their ability to turn your life upside down, babies have an uncanny power. With a single giggle, they can melt your heart. They remind you of the pure joy of discovering the world for the first time, of the beauty of simplicity, and of the unparalleled love that comes from caring for another person.

Doing your best is all it takes. Things will be fine – and the moments when things aren’t fine will make for wonderful stories you can tell at their wedding.