Order my new book by 5/16 for exclusive bonuses. Click here.

Can you improve your relationship by trying to change your partner?

.

This research examined the consequences of targeting the self versus the partner when trying to improve intimate relationships. As predicted, when participants (N = 160) focused their relationship improvement attempts on changing the partner, individuals reported more negative improvement strategies, lower improvement success, and, in turn, more negative relationship evaluations. Self-focused improvement attempts and participants’ own self-regulation efforts, however, were not associated with more positive relationship evaluations or improvement. Instead, individuals reported more improvement and greater relationship quality when partners were perceived to be engaging in successful self-regulation efforts. The results suggest that targeting the partner may do more harm than good despite that relationship evaluations pivot on whether the partner produces change.

Source: “Improving intimate relationships: Targeting the partner versus changing the self” from Journal of Social and Personal Relationships

Join 45K+ readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

Related posts:

What are the four things that kill relationships?

What 6 things can improve your relationship?

What are the 5 things that make love last?

Share

Subscribe to the newsletter

Over 500,000 people have subscribed to my newsletter. Join now and get the beginning of my new book free:

I want to subscribe!